Mar. 21st, 2011

webcowgirl: (Tiger monkey)
We started by checking in on the question of emotional impact. Am I aware of the impact what I say and do has on others? Am I aware of the impact it has on my counselor? I told him I tried to talk to him honestly but not think about how he feels about what I say to him, as I expect him to want some personal space where he can think and feel what he wants. He again asked me if I felt I could trust him. I'm not sure why he's been asking that so much ...

We talked about me taking care of other people and being concerned about their feelings, but maybe not having people who are similarly "mothering" me. (I am definitely feeling the lack of a best friend in my life, someone who just "gets" me and who has an infinite capacity to hang out with me and enjoy my company.) He said I need to spend some more time getting to know the "little cowgirl" (if you know my name) and figuring out what her emotional needs are. He said I have managed to be very successful in the adult arenas but I may be leaving my "child needs" behind.

I said I didn't see what the point was of getting clearer about what I think I "need" when I'm not going to get it.

We also discussed figuring out if I had maladaptive behaviors.

Anyway, I was pretty tired then and I'm tired now. I'm not sure what to say about the counseling in general tonight. I guess we laid out a plan for what we're doing for the next couple of months.

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webcowgirl

April 2011

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